April 2, 2012

Check the date

From National Public Radio:
N.Y. Preschool Starts DNA Testing For Admission 
by NPR STAFF 
For years, New York parents have been applying to preschools even before their youngsters are born. That's not new, but the approach one prestigious pre-school on the Upper West Side is. 
At the Porsafillo Preschool Academy, all applicants must now submit a DNA analysis of their children. 
The preschool is housed in a modern glass and steel building designed by IM Pei. It's situated in a leafy corner of the Upper West Side. On a recent afternoon, Headmaster Rebecca Unsinn showed off "Porsafillo Pre," as it's called. 
"Over here, we have computer labs, C++ learning, which of course, as I'm sure you know, is a language of computers," she says. Wait, computer language? These preschoolers are learning C++? 
"Oh, absolutely they are," Unsinn says. "And they're very good at it." 
That's not the only language they're learning; all the children are also enrolled in a Mandarin Chinese immersion program. 
More than 12,000 applications pour into Unsinn's office each fall. That's 12,000 hopefuls for just 32 spots a year. It makes Porsafillo Pre the most competitive preschool in the United States. 
So in a bid to weed out the kids who have no chance, the school decided to require a DNA test for all applicants. Before she joined the school in 2009, Unsinn was a child neurologist. She was hired specifically to implement this new policy. 
Her team is looking for genetic markers that indicate future excellence — things like intelligence, confidence and other leadership traits. ... 
Some parents are already planning to take legal action against the school in the event their children are passed over for admission. A recent op-ed in the New York Times called the practice "ghoulish" and "unethical." Headmaster Unsinn dismisses the criticism. 
"This is not unethical at all. If anything, it's extremely ethical. This is now no longer a subjective decision," she says. "This is a clinical test that can show us how a child will perform throughout its life." 
The Porsafillo Academy will begin to accept applications under their new DNA policy today, April 1.


26 comments:

Ted Frank said...

Porsafillo is an anagram of April Fool's.

IHTG said...

in before readers who fall for it

Phlebas said...

D'oh. Fell for it. I guess that teaches me for being too credulous of things that I approve of.

Anonymous said...

Unsinn is German for nonsense

Anonymous said...

Kind of interesting how this is NPR's choice for an April Fools.

Anonymous said...

Unsinn is German (Yiddish?) for nonsense

Anonymous said...

Now someone please tell me this whole Trayvon thing is another April Fool's joke.

Anonymous said...

Did you get my OctoMom post?

I hope so.

I can't tell what's being censored and what's just getting eaten up by this sh*t-for-software that Google is serving up for Blogger/Blogspot.

Anonymous said...

Attention Microsoft Corporation: cheap labor alert. Preschoolers programming in C++ who'll work for Cheez-its.

SFG said...

Given the traditional Jewish squeamishness about eugenics, I can't see this in NYC of all places.

Apart from the date.

Luke Lea said...

Will not fly.

Anonymous said...

Well, if there was something objectionable about my OctoMom writeup, then here's the story:

dailymail.co.uk

I just thought that all of that blond hair was nothing short of stunning.

And let's just leave it at that [since I don't seem to be having much luck lately with Komment Kontrol].

heartiste said...

in humor, there is much projection and, as the economists might say, revealed opinion. at least we know the discourse commissars at npr nurse a burning desire to set their minds free of equalist orthodoxy. if it takes an april fool's joke to publicly entertain wicked thoughts, let them have it. it could be the beginning of a beeyootiful crack in the edifice.

Anonymous said...

this sh*t-for-software that Google is serving up for Blogger/Blogspot


BTW, Internet Explorer is now warning me that Blogger/Blogspot is trying to serve up Cross-Site Scripting, which is about as evil a technique as exists on the web.

Very, very evil stuff that "Do No Evil" Google is stooping to these days...

Nanonymous said...

Add my vote for "not very believable".

Steve Sailer said...

Check the date

Truth said...

Hey, now there's a Twilight Zone episode in the making:

I mean, think about it; you finally got exactly what you have been begging for for 10 years, and none of your kids would qualify>>>

Baaaaaw-haaaaw-haaaaw-hawwww!

Anonymous said...

This is an April Fool's joke with a ring of truth.

Anonymous said...

NPR got me real good but you gotta admit the story isn't really far-fetched. There are elite preschools all over elite communities in NY and San Fran.

HBD blog core audience said...

Ha Ha, oh mercy, what a delightful lark. Excelsior!

Semi-employed White Guy said...

It's bad enough that I have to compete with all of the $10/hr Indian "software engineers". I don't need more C++ competition from pre-schoolers. I know it was only for April Fools, but don't think for a second some brain-dead program manager out there wouldn't love to hire toddlers to write code and pay them in gummy bears.

Larry, San Francisco said...

The Economist had a great April Fool's Joke. I was halfway through it before I realized it was a joke.
http://www.economist.com/node/21551450

eh said...

"Oh, absolutely they are," Unsinn says. "And they're very good at it."

Unsinn is a German word. Here is what it might mean in English.

David said...

April 1. A dark day for Aspies. The day nothing they read or hear makes sense.

Perhaps the government ought to require writers to place an April Fool disclaimer in clear language (and in several languages) at the head of every piece, like a tobacco warning. Just to alleviate the confusion and pain.

Evil Sandmich said...

I checked the date, it just appears to be posted a few years early.

Steve Sailer said...

"I checked the date, it just appears to be posted a few years early."

Bingo. I knew there was a punchline in there, but I couldn't come up with it.