July 5, 2009

WWTDD on the Michael Jackson Memorial

The Washington Post reports:

Like a modern-day Willy Wonka tale, more than 1.6 million fans waited to learn Sunday whether they were among the lucky few to win access to Michael Jackson's memorial service Tuesday at Staples Center.

On Sunday evening, fans around the world started posting Twitter messages about receiving tickets.

"OMG OMG OMG OMG i got tickets to the Michael Jackson memorial service!!!"

A few days ago, What Would Tyler Durden Do had a Kornbluthian suggestion about what to do with the lucky winners:
If LA wants to clean itself up, they should wait for all 30,000 people to show up and then just lock the doors. It’s not gonna be the team behind the Large Hadron Collider. It’s gonna be Billy Bush and Mary Hart and Joe Jackson and 800 lawyers and an army of delusional retards who the only thing they had to take time off from was clogging up 911 with calls about “that bitch is crazy, you needa arrest her ass.” They should lock the doors, and then it turns out [the fans had] actually climbed aboard a rocket.

And then just shoot that thing right into the Sun.

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

And then just shoot that thing right into the Sun.

Sounds cool... as long as we get to go there at night.

testing99 said...

Leave Joe Jackson alone! Steppin Out was one of the 1980's musical pleasures:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnbj0w8iOeM

The other Joe Jackson, sure. Jeez. Reality sounds like a Day of the Locust parody.

RKU said...

There must be SOME way to extend the same privilege to all 1.6M people who entered the lottery for the tickets...

Let's clean up the whole country not just LA!!

Bob said...

Joking about mass-murder of people because he doesn't like their taste in pop music?

What a deranged asshole!

Baloo said...

Who's this Bob guy? He sounds like a lot of fun.

jack strocchi said...

Bob said...

Joking about mass-murder...

Bob, if we can't joke about mass-murder then what can we joke about?

Anonymous said...

I just don't get this hero-worship of Jackson at all. He didn't discover a cure for cancer. He was a bizarre person who MAY have been a child molester. Are people really this much in neeed of a god to worship?

kudzu bob said...

And let's not forget Jonathan Swift. He joked about eating babies just because he didn't like the conditions in 18th Century Ireland.

Another deranged asshole!

Bob said...

Swift's satirical proposal to eat Irish babies was not an attack on Irish babies, but rather a protest of the treatment of them, as well as the Irish in general.

This guy hates Michael Jackson fans, so he writes that it would be cool if a whole bunch of them got killed in a gruesome manner. Hilarity!

Cal said...

I didn't read the article or any comments, so maybe someone pointed out the similarity of this scenario to Restaurant at the End of the Universe, where it is revealed that Earth was populated by manicurists, telephone sales representatives, and middle managers from a planet who had made a similar finding as to their worth.

kudzu bob said...

Bob, go read "The Marching Morons," the excellent C.M. Kornbluth story that Steve alludes to. But first be sure to dial down the outrage meter some, so that your brain doesn't explode.

Melykin said...

Make sure the people at CNN who decided to switch to 24/7 Michael Jackson coverage are in the stadium too.

Vernunft said...

"This guy hates Michael Jackson fans, so he writes that it would be cool if a whole bunch of them got killed in a gruesome manner. Hilarity!"

I LOL'd. Seriously, get a sense of humor.

I may not hate MJ fans but I am a little wary of people who go to bat for a perv.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there a Simpsons episode where the most obnoxious people on earth (including Spike Lee and Pauly Shore) were put on a rocket to be shot into the sun?

Humorists, despair. The Simpsons always got there first.

Anonymous said...

"Humorists, despair. The Simpsons always got there first."

Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!

-South Park

Baloo said...

I was right, Bob IS a lot of fun!

Mr. Anon said...

Cyril Kornbluth, author of "The Marching Morons", never brushed his teeth which, as a result, turned green. That might also have had something to do with him dying of a heart attack at the age of 34.

What does one call such a person? Let's spell it out so as not to offend him: M. O. R. O.......

Anonymous said...

"Humorists, despair. The Simpsons always got there first."

Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!

-South Park



worst ... post ... ever

DCThrowback said...

For those of you who don't read WWTDD on a daily basis, you're truly missing out. I was pleasantly surprised Steve quoted from it, thinking it only to be my guilty little pleasure.

Danindc said...

Good call on the Simpsons- Rosie was singing "clang clang clang goes the trolley!!!" as they crashed into the sun.

Bob- I want to party with you

The guy that writes that site- Brendan something or other is the funniest guy on the web- Gutfeld second, Steve third.... Andi Sullivan last

The hero worship of MJ is pretty sick but that's where we are headed

Anonymous said...

Awesome!

Andrea said...

Does Bob know that we can't actually shoot 30,000 people into the sun with a rocket? We don't actually have that technology. All the fans will be okay, Bob!

I just want to make sure Bob knows. Also, that Simpson kid doesn't actually eat Butterfingers candy bars. That's because he's a cartoon.

Anonymous said...

Everyone settle down about the Jackson music fans. After all, Pop Will Eat Itself!

josh said...

The irony of the MJ "memorial"--at which Justin Timberlake will perform! YES!!--is that the crowd,I expect,will be a lot more white than Jacksons black fan base may like. Assuming no affirmative action, fans basically get there based on,ahem,"merit." First theres more white people in general. (Mestizoes seem particularly unmoved by MJ's passing) Whites are probably more likely to A)become aware of the lottery process B)Have quick acces to the net C)Do it correctly,and D)Do it in a timely manner. Plus having the dough to get to LA! Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson---and did you notice how,weirdly,Jesse flew to the side of Joe Jackson to counsel him?? WTF?? Some of that MJ money going to Jesse??--maybe a bit perturbed! I only hope Jacksons kids dont wind up spending the night in any home occupied by that old,uhm,gentleman Joe Jackson. "Huh? Whats that?? Whos there...?" Oy.

Danindc said...

I think it's safe to say if anyone in your life cared one iota about MJ's passing.....well, you know where to trim the fat.

Ronduck said...

Im with the above poster, put the CNN people on the rocket too. The House passed the odious cap-and-trade bill while the media was worshiping Jackson.

kudzu bob said...

>What does one call such a person? Let's spell it out so as not to offend him: M. O. R. O.......<

Sorry, you're way off: W. R. I. T. E. R. is what you're trying to spell, O smugly superior Wikepedia user.

That Goedel, Tesla, and Van Gogh were nuts in no way detracts from their acheivements. Ditto for Kornbluth. Although he was not as accomplished in his field as those three were in their respective endeavors, he deserves a measure of respect too.

(And there you have the true purpose of the Internet: To waste one's time pointing out the painfully obvious to the hopelessly shallow.)

Mr. Anon said...

"kudzu bob said...

>What does one call such a person? Let's spell it out so as not to offend him: M. O. R. O.......<

Sorry, you're way off: W. R. I. T. E. R. is what you're trying to spell, O smugly superior Wikepedia user."

He may well have been a good writer. I don't know - I've never read him. However, I don't think it smug on my part to think that a guy who can't even be bothered to brush his teeth once in a while is anything other than a dips**t, and that if he write's a book about how stupid everyone is, he might have profitably spent some time looking in the mirror.....at his own rotting teeth.

BTW, while I did check the reference about Kornbluth at Wikipedia (it was Frederic Pohl who that was attributed to), I think I first heard about Kornbluth's oral hygiene at this site - Steve mentioned it in connection with some punk rocker or another who had similar habits.

kudzu bob said...

Poe got kicked out of West Point and married his 13-year-old cousin. Dostoevsky was, in Turgenev's words, "the meanest Christian I ever met," and a degenerate gambler to boot. Chandler wrote his detective novels while blind drunk. Philip Dick was a speed freak who married and divorced five times.

Dipshits all, no doubt. Yet we revere them.

Mr. Anon, it must be lonely up there. Why don't you clamber down from your lofty perch?

Mr. Anon said...

"kudzu bob said...

Dipshits all, no doubt. Yet we revere them."

And I imagine they all had tooth-brushes in their medicine cabinet. What is it you're standing up here for? The inseperable link between literary genius and gingivits?

Anonymous said...

This might be pretty off-topic here but...MJ's three kids are really not his kids at all and they are White. They will inherit his estate. I just wonder how this sits with the black community?

kudzu bob said...

You not only haven't read Kornbluth, you clearly haven't even read my posts, at least not with any care. Had you bothered to do so, you wouldn't need to ask me what I'm standing up for.

Your willful incomprehension is matched only by your lack of empathy and your no doubt pearly whites.

Anonymous said...

didja ever wonder how much all those speakers at the mj memorial had to pay the jackson family in order to get on tv for that huge audience?

-cryofan