February 14, 2008

stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

Here.

Stuff white people like ... #62 Knowing What's Best for Poor People

White people spend a lot of time of worrying about poor people. It takes up a pretty significant portion of their day.

They feel guilty and sad that poor people shop at Wal*Mart instead of Whole Foods, that they vote Republican instead of Democratic, that they go to Community College/get a job instead of studying art at a University.

It is a poorly guarded secret that, deep down, white people believe if given money and education that all poor people would be EXACTLY like them. In fact, the only reason that poor people make the choices they do is because they have not been given the means to make the right choices and care about the right things.

A great way to make white people feel good is to tell them about situations where poor people changed how they were doing things because they were given the ‘whiter’ option. “Back in my old town, people used to shop at Wal*Mart and then this non-profit organization came in and set up a special farmers co-op so that we could buy more local produce, and within two weeks the Wal*Mart shut down and we elected our first Democratic representative in 40 years.” White people will first ask which non-profit and are they hiring? After that, they will be filled with euphoria and will invite you to more parties to tell this story to their friends, so that they can feel great.

But it is ESSENTIAL that you reassert that poor people do not make decisions based on free will. That news could crush white people and their hope for the future.

The term "white people" is implicitly defined on stuffwhitepeoplelike.com as whites who are obsessed with winning status struggles over other whites. I like the idea of having a term that refers precisely to the group so deftly skewered on stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. Perhaps whitepeople, with no space, as in the middle part of the URL, would be a useful term.

*

Speaking of stuff whitepeople like, Slate.com justifies its existence with this article.

My published articles are archived at iSteve.com -- Steve Sailer

38 comments:

Reg C├Žsar said...

"It's a white thing, but you're welcome to share..."

And don't leave out Barack Obama. In return, he could use the same slogan against either his current Democratic or presumptive Republican opponent: "Vote for me. I hate white people less."

Speaking of which, and pardon the subject change, might it be worth electing John McCain just to get him out of the Senate, where he could do more damage? Some cynic made that argument re Ted Kennedy back in 1980.

Alex said...

Okay, at first I was just laughing a bit, but by the time I got to #11 Asian Girls I seriously think this might be the greatest blog in existence. (Er, second greatest, of course.) Even the comments are good.

Let's! said...

The best cultural satire I've read in a long time. But they're stealing a base with the name of the site, since they really mean "StuffBoBosLike."

Ron Guhname said...

The main idea seems to be that whites are most distinctive from other races in their cultural liberalism. I think there is some truth to it. The race stands out in its innovativeness and its foolishness.

Let's! said...

One more thing, that site hits the nail on the head with its "Traveling," "Foreign Culture" and "Indie Music" entries. Go into Amazon sometime and check out user reviews of indie or foreign bands. It's amazing how many (presumably BoBo) reviewers choose to lead their reviews not with a description of the music, but by relating to us where they were when they first heard it. Because the CD exists, first and foremost, as a memento of their "discovery," of course.

Ron Guhname said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

There is an irritating new trend to say "white people" and "black people" instead of just "whites" and "blacks", as if to remind us incessantly that we are all people. It seems like it emanates from bleeding hearts and do-gooders, so naturally I'm against it.

Anonymous said...

There is an irritating new trend to say "white people" and "black people" instead of just "whites" and "blacks", as if to incessantly remind us that we are all people. It seems like something that would come from bleeding hearts and do-gooders, so naturally I'm against it.

Steve Sailer said...

I _have_ a TV, I just can never find the remote control.

Alex said...

I gave up TV for Lent and I've been dying for a chance to tell (white) people. I'll leave out the Lent part, of course.

Ben Franklin said...

John McCain will resign his senate seat once he has the nomination in hand. This has already been reported, and I certainly don’t doubt it. With his health problems I doubt he would have remained in the senate except as a base from which to launch his presidential campaign. And with his ego, if he loses he won’t want to return to the senate, as he views himself as a bigger man than John Kerry (and Kerry had planned on running again this year).

So, feel free to vote for the least dangerous candidate, Hillary, without fear that McCain will still be around to keep kicking us.

Anonymous said...

A kitchen littered with iconic stainless steel appliances pretty much nailed me, and god forgive me, I do worship at the alter of williams-sanoma!

However, I've managed to resist my rather forceful white genetic need for a hip black friend, so obama remains out of my life, at present.

Cody said...

It's nice to see Half Sigma engaging in other satiric projects.

Truth said...

How about new hybrid vehicles every other year, caucasian women with black women's asses and Taco Bell's phony Mexican food.

Albion Beige said...

stuffwhitepeoplelike ROCKS!

We need more of this. The most effective antidote to status whoring is craftsmanlike satire. A well turned barb can scar a child for life.

Udolpho, are you listening?

dearieme said...

In south London, "Stuff white people, like" carries a different implication.

cranky matron said...

OMG, what a hilarious site!! I know exactly the demographic they're talking about. But they had me at "Arrested Development" and "white women fantasizing about urban bicycling lifestyle." D'oh!

neil craig said...

Whites who are obsessesd with winning status struggles over other whites = WWOWSSOOWs pronounced Wowsows?

Anonymous said...

White people love ideology.

Hell, they'll die for it!

Anonymous said...

As a white female, from the age of 12 on, the LAST thing any girl or woman wanted was a bigger ass. It's a little bit like wanting less money.

Martin said...

Reading the comments on "stuffwhitepeoplelike.com", it seems that many of those commenting don't get that this site is skewering white liberals. At least I think it's skewering white liberals. It doesn't say anything about hockey, NASCAR, golf, deer hunting, or the like, so I think it's directed at one particular species: the hip, socially-conscious, competively altruistic urban liberal.

Anonymous said...

I vote for whiterpeople instead of whitepeople. Then we could say "that's mighty whiter of you", etc.

Plus it would google better.

Anonymous said...

That blog is full of good examples why white people have achieved so much on the world stage. Everyone likes to make fun of PC and interest in cultures, but these things are indispensable for any elite ethnic group.

The white quirks boil down to a few things, but themes that consistently pop up are:

A. A kind of adventure-seeking ("white people like to be outdoors instead of sitting around" "white people like traveling to exotic places")

B. Interest in others ("white people try to pronounce foreign words in a native accent" "white people like to brag about their knowledge of culture and foods" "white people are interested in strange religions")

C. A pursuit of excellence that does not always sacrifice innovation ("white people all think their kids are gifted, but if they don't do well in school then that's because they are too smart for that and need to do their own thing")

D. A sense of responsibility to others ("white people like to recycle" "white people are so PC")

For all these reasons, people are flocking to places like Europe, the US/Canada, Australia. Not flocking so much to Africa, the Middle East, East Asia.

Frank said...

So apparently Asians are whitepeople as well. All the Ivy league educated Asians I know match up well with these categories, and so do most Jews. Interestingly Ivy league blacks and Latinos I've known would not.

agnostic said...

That's pretty good, but some of it seems a little out of date (though some very up to date, like the '80s night phenomenon). The Asian girl fetish, for example, has been declining for about 5 years now.

Like someone else said, white girls with black girls' butts are more fashionable, even better if they come from an exotic country but which is still whiter than their hometown, like Argentina, Chile, or Costa Rica.

Shouting Thomas said...

What a gem!

Thanks for brining this to my attention, Steve.

Anonymous said...

That's right! Whites who don't agree with the Steve Sailers of the world are just playing a status game.

Michael said...

Judging from that blog, I'm at about 75% on the White People scale. Love old stuff and Apple products, hate NPR. I'm a near-stereotype of my species.

Hey, that reminds me of something the WhitePeople writer might pounce on: Stereotypes. White people like stereotypes. I enjoy thinking of myself as a stereotype. I find it helpful to learn what the various stereotypes are. I have a hard time imagining why it is (except in a few extreme cases) so many non-White people get so worked up about and angered by stereotypes.

Anonymous said...

Obviously what white people like is making fun of white people.

Tripp said...

The list is too long. Including stuff like Netflix is just distracting - I just don't believe it's politicized. All the breakfast places I know had a mixed-race clientele.

Yes, yes, I know it's all very hilarious and all that, but I don't really get the jokes. The whole site is full of mass culture in-jokes. Okay, now "Arrested Development" is a TV show ... it was always a hip-hop band to me. Don't know how their love of it (or the Daily Show) is really compatible with #28, but in any case, I'm not going to get these jokes, for a reason I can't express without "sounding white".

The photos don't match the topics. Under "Being an expert on YOUR culture", there's a picture of a pair of women arm-in-arm. Eh?

What does "It’s pretty garbage all around" mean, anyway?

Things like this make me uneasy because the loose implication is that exercise, eschewing television, travelling abroad, and recycling only have value to leftists. (I would agree about the hallucinogens ... nonleftist thinking makes sense even if the bricks aren't singing folk songs to the polka-dot flowers.)

It would be just as easy to have launched a site with the same URL that listed Fox News, McDonalds, inbreeding, using too many resources, etc., implying that the common definition of "white people" is "people who are distinctly unlike the person who is using the term". The term "whitepeople" isn't going to help, since people do still occasionally speak out loud. The term should probably be "American brahmin".

agnostic said...

As for naming this group, maybe a quirky, quasi-political spelling:

Whyte people.

Robert said...

Thank you for sending me to this site!

roissy said...

nice find. however, yes, it should be whiterpeople. rednecks don't do any of the things listed on that site, including which dog breeds they prefer.

the couple who write that blog look like they live the urban hipster lifestyle, judging by their flickr photos.

Marc said...

This site is great. I have one hip black friend who is constantly pointing out to me all the weird things white people do that I just take for granted as normal, and it's weird to see how many of her observations are reflected on this site.

I kid you not, I took her to a friend's shorehouse (bayhouse? house on the bay? whatever) to go kayaking for the weekend and the entire time she grumbled about white people and our love of water. (She was terrible at kayaking too btw.) Also, last time she stayed over for the weekend I had to buy washcloths for her. Apparently just using the soap is weird.

She also claims that only white people would ever waste their time playing role playing games. Some of the guys we shared the house with were, um, a little on the nerdy side and they (not I) broke out some RISK-type role playing game (I'm not a gamer, so don't expect me to know its name), and she said, "SEE? SEE how you people are? You practice conquering other peoples in your spare time!!!!!"

Lucius Vorenus said...

Marc: "SEE? SEE how you people are? You practice conquering other peoples in your spare time!!!!!"

Okay, that was funny.

rob said...

Marc, you already have a hip black friend? You don't even need to vote for Obama.

What number on the list is Having a Hip Black Friend?

Anonymous said...

Notice how acceptable it is for the "hip" friend to be downright nasty and rude to her hosts. Imagine those roles reversed. No, don't: because it wouldn't happen.

Marc said...

Anonymous,

Your general point has merit, but in my friend's defense, she said this to me behind closed doors in mock horror, and we chuckled about it. She was perfectly polite to our hosts. (And yes, I make jokes about blacks to her.)